Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
