he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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