This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
