Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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