So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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