It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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