you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
