Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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