I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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