i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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