i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
