he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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