Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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