Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
