Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
