It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Be still, my beating vagina.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
