Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
