if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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