My liver just broke up with me...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
