that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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