Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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