i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
