i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
