to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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