you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
