just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
