I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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