You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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