Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
