My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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