Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
