the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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