Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
