Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
