Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
organizing the empties. That sober.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
