Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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