He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We have started to decorate penises.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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