Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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