I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
