Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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