the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
