she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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