I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
