i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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