pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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