Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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