he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this just has baby written all over it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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