Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
