Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
