Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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