Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
