so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
