I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
