This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
